You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
