They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
