Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
