We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
