wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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