i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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