I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
