He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
