hotel room ftw
I'm jealous of your bromance
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
