she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
