I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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