I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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