so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
