i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
