Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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