Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
