It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
