i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
