I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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