Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
even my farts smell like vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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