yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
