What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
