Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
