Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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