East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
