I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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