2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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