Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
