Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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