That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
