Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
