Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
