He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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