eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
