Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
