I need help removing her.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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