no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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