So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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