Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
how does that bad decision feel?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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