Whatcha textin bout Willis?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
