I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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