You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
