Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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