Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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