Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
