Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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