Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
