the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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