very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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