just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I party with great urgency now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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