people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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