You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
