I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
