why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
