ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
